I am Malay, and you better not forget it

So I whack the Malays. I whack them because foreigners think that the Malays are a joke. I am angry with these foreigners. I feel insulted that they say these things about the Malays. I am also Malay. So when they run down the Malays they are also running me down.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

My Malay friends ask me why is it I am very harsh towards the Malays. I am Malay. So why am I cruel towards the Malays? Well, it is because I am Malay that I am cruel. If I am not Malay then I would not be bothered about the Malays.

Do I criticise the Arabs? I have been to Mekah ten times in my life so I know the Arabs very well even if I don’t live in their country. I know what the Arabs are like. They too are Muslims like me. In fact, Mekah is the centre of Islam. So why don’t I also whack the Arabs?

That’s because I don’t care about the Arabs. I do not have nice things to say about the Arabs. So better that I don’t say anything because anything that I would say would be far from complementary. I am not Arab so the Arabs can make fools of themselves for all I care. And they do make fools of themselves.

But when the Malays make fools of themselves I do care. And that is why I am very uncompromising towards the Malays. I care that the Malays make fools of themselves.

I regard it as my right to whack the Malays. Malays have every right to whack the Malays. But I don’t take kindly to the Chinese and Indians whacking the Malays. Malays can whack Malays. But when the Chinese and Indians whack the Malays I will whack them back. I will not let them get away with it.

Okay, I am not a thoroughbred Malay. I am only part-Malay. Only my father is Malay. My mother is Welsh. But then who is a thoroughbred Malay? Most Malays are of mixed blood. The only thing is that my blood is mixed with Welsh blood, not with Javanese, Sumatran, Siamese, Minangkabau, Acheh, Indian, Chinese, etc., blood.

So what if my blood is mixed with Caucasian blood and not with Javanese, Sumatran, Siamese, Minangkabau, Acheh, Indian, Chinese, etc., blood? Mixed blood is mixed blood. Whether it is Asian-European or Asian-Asian, it is still mixed blood.

In fact, my great grandmother was Orang Asli. Her name was Hasnah Binti Pelong. She was the second wife of Sultan Ala'Eddin Suleiman Shah, the Fifth Sultan of Selangor.

Sultan Suleiman was Bugis. So that, in fact, makes me more Malay than many Malays in Malaysia in spite of my Welsh blood. I have Orang Asli blood in me. I have more right to Malaysia than millions of other pendatang Malays who invaded my country and now claim it as their own.

Bumiputera konon! Hello brader. We Orang Asli were here first. So don’t try to play that who is more Malay game with me. You will lose.

I interact with Japanese, Koreans, Americans, British, French, Germans, Indonesians, Thais, Singaporeans, Filipinos, and people from many other countries. Somehow they don’t see me as Malay. Maybe it is because of how I look. So they talk to me. They tell me a lot. They tell me what they think. And they think very poorly of the Malays.

These foreigners tell me that the only reason they employ Malays is because of the requirements of the New Economic Policy. If not for that they would not employ Malays. They said they could employ one Chinese for three Malays they employ. One Chinese can do the job of three Malays.

They think Malays are lazy. They think Malays are very slow. They think Malays lack initiative. They think Malays lack grey matter.

There I sit listening to foreign investors and managers running down the Malays while forgetting that I am also Malay. If it were one or two who say this I would say these people are bigots who are prejudiced against the Malays. But when everyone tells me this then the problem must be real. The problem must be the Malays.

So I whack the Malays. I whack them because foreigners think that the Malays are a joke. I am angry with these foreigners. I feel insulted that they say these things about the Malays. I am also Malay. So when they run down the Malays they are also running me down.

I cannot whack the foreigners. I cannot whack them not because I am scared they will not come to Malaysia. I cannot whack them because I know they are telling the truth.

Of course the truth hurts. The truth always hurts. And because it is the truth I cannot whack the foreigners for running down the Malays. The anger builds up in me. I need to whack somebody. But I can’t whack those who are telling the truth. So I whack the Malays instead. I whack the Malays because I am ashamed that the foreigners say bad things about the Malays and also because what they are saying is the truth and there is no way I can argue with them or prove them wrong.

But that does not mean I like others whacking the Malays. If you whack the Malay I will whack you back. If you are another Malay then that is okay. But if you are not Malay and you whack the Malays then I will whack you back. I have my pride and dignity and if you insult the Malays then you are insulting me as well. And I don’t take kindly to insults. So you whack the Malays at your own peril.