A tale of a cow

And that is why one-time Selangor Menteri Besar Khir Toyo said cows are stupid. And he explained why he said this as follows. Malays have a proverb, he said, bodoh macam lembu, which translates to stupid like a cow.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

This story is actually a tale of a cow, not the tail of a cow. And the tale started when Umno lost its cash-cow state, Selangor. Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak said they must grab back the cash-cow state, by hook or by crook. And what Malaysian prime ministers want Malaysian prime ministers get.

So they moo-ted a grand plan. And the plan was to raise race and religion issues to work up the Malays so that they would become aroused enough to unite. “Apa pasal itu Moolayu selalu bangkit cerita 13 Mei?” asked a very concerned Chinese citizen of Selangor who spoke very little English and a spattering of bazaar Malay. “Itu bikin kita orang China rasa risau. Kita masih ingat dulu orang China kena sembelih macam lembu semasa Hari Raya Haji.”

Of course, one would imagine that in this day and age Malays can no longer be led by the nose like cows and get taken in so easily by all this propaganda. As they say in Malaysia, Malays, today, have better cow sense. But alas, some are still fooled by bull shit.

But then, we must always remember what one-time Malaysian Prime Minister Tun Dr Mahathir Mohamad said: people are like herd. They have herd mentality. Mahathir was of course talking about the fact that all you need to do is lead one cow by the nose and the rest of the herd would follow.

If you remember the John Wayne cowboy movies of the old days you will remember that they always showed scenes of stampeding herds. All it takes is for one cow to become spooked and to start panicking and the rest of the herd would follow suit. This is another thing about herd mentality. All it takes is for one cow to moo and start galloping and all the others would follow although they do not know why they are doing so.

So all you need to do is to spook one cow. And it need not be the lead cow. Any cow will do. And once this cow is spooked and goes moo and starts running in a panic like a bull in a China shop, then the rest of the herd just follows without thinking.

And that is why one-time Selangor Menteri Besar Khir Toyo said cows are stupid. And he explained why he said that as follows. Malays have a proverb, he said, bodoh macam lembu, which translates to stupid like a cow. So stupidity is always equated to cows, at least as far as Malays are concerned.

That was Khir Toyo’s explanation.

What Malays do not know is that the English also have cute sayings, just like the Malays. And one of the English sayings is ‘greedy like a pig’. This normally refers to people who eat too much and stuff their faces unabashedly. This would include people who eat everything they can get their hands on without a second thought -- like many Malaysians who ‘eat’ the rakyat’s money by taking ‘commission’ and ‘under the table’ money. These types of people would classify as those who are greedy like pigs.

But as much as Najib and Khir Toyo tried everything they could to bring down the Selangor government, the Pakatan Rakyat people were not in the least bit cowed. Nothing could shake them and they fought back hard. The Pakatan Rakyat people are just so pig-headed or, as the Malays would say, kepala keras macam lembu. So Umno decided to play hardball by making some of the Pakatan Rakyat EXCO Members sacrificial cows. But still they fought back relentlessly and would not surrender.

Then Umno upped the ante and got some of their members to march to the Selangor State Secretariat building with a cow’s head. They of course pretended that Umno is not involved in this entire thing and that these people acted on their own accord. But the Malays have another saying. And that saying is when one cow is muddy then the entire herd becomes muddy as well. Eventually, everyone blamed Umno for this and many in fact asked why is it that Umno does not have any cow sense. Does Umno not know that they would get blamed for this whatever they may say to deny it?

The Saturday meeting in Shah Alam convinced those who may have had doubts about Umno’s involvement in the cow head episode that Umno is undoubtedly involved. When one Umno man started shouting, the rest followed suit in true herd mentality fashion. It was almost like a stampeding herd when everyone rushed forward and it appeared like they would swamp the main table. Everyone was screaming at the same time and no one could understand what these people were saying. It was almost like the sound of cows in a slaughterhouse.

But the Menteri Besar, Tan Sri Khalid Ibrahim, and the Shah Alam Member of Parliament, Khalid Samad, remained very calm. They were not cowed by the mob that even went so far as to threaten to kill them. You could see that the two Khalids were as unperturbed as cows grazing in a field. They did not react or retaliate like a bull that sees red.

And that demonstrated the matured mentality of the Pakatan Rakyat people compared to the Umno people. Khalid even said he was prepared to be slaughtered in the next general election if that is the price he has to pay to seek justice and fair-play.

The Umno people wanted to barbecue the two Khalids like pieces of beef. But the two Khalids stood their ground and refused to give in even as the Umno people were sharpening their carving knives. Trying to get the two Khalids to relent was as difficult as trying to beat a cow into action.

And everyone who witnessed the video of the Saturday melee in Shah Alam realised that Umno is very dangerous and does not care what happens to the rakyat as long as they are able to grab back the cash-cow state that they lost on 8th March 2008.