We must exterminate threats to our society!

The Star 
A Humble Submission by SYAHREDZAN JOHAN

We Malaysians are beset by threats from within Malaysia and outside of the country. We are under siege, the very fabric of our society may be unravelled if we these threats remain unchecked. If we do not clamp down and control these dangerous elements, Malaysia as we know will cease to exist.

At least, according to the politicians and politicians masquerading as non-governmental organisation (NGO) and religious leaders.

First and foremost, there are the Jews. The Elders of Zion, guided by their protocols, are always envious of successful Muslim countries such as ours. They want to see our Government, a good government imbued with wholesome Islamic principles, fall. But they will not do so openly. Instead, the Jews, being masters of subversion, do it through their agents, purportedly here in Malaysia.

They also do so through the importation of Hollywood and Lady Gaga, distracting us from the righteous paths through Miley Cyrus' twerks. We are always reminded of the Jewish threat, so that we must always be ever vigilant.

Closely connected to the Jews are, of course, the Americans. No, I am not talking about the Trans Pacific Partnership Agreement. That is not a new form of American imperialism, because it is sanctioned by our Government. Our Government knows how to deal with Americans. No, American neo-imperialism comes in the form of elements such as "human rights", "LBGT rights", "pluralism", "liberalism", and fast food and brewed coffee chains. These foreign elements do not fit our Malaysian culture, just like how debating also does not fit into our Malaysian culture. Beware of the stars and stripes, my fellow Malaysians.

Communism is another nemesis of ours. An old enemy, one which we have defeated but keeps coming back to us like that pesky cockroach in our kitchen which never wants to just die. Chin Peng may have died, but his ideas live on in young, foolish students with Che Guavera t-shirts and a romantic view of Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez. The Government is doing its part to crush these un-Malaysian views and that is why we must stop Chin Peng's ashes from coming into this country at all costs. We must understand, it is not the ashes that the Government is concerned with. It is the ideas. Remember, communism is only good when it comes in the form of trading and investments in China.

Another dangerous "C" are the Christians. There are quite a number of Malaysians who are Christians. Which makes the "Kristianisasi" threat even more dangerous. These Christians are always trying to convert the Muslim faithful by confusing them, so that their faith will be shaken, they will abandon it and one day embrace the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Equipped with talking and solar-powered Bibles, Christians want to install a Christian Prime Minister and change the religion of the Federation into Christianity (it is not stated which denomination, however), according to "revelations" by some bloggers and one Malay daily.

Closely connected to Communists and Christians are our neighbours down south. We now have "information" that Opposition politicians want to win the Parliament so that they can sell Malaysia to Singapore. It is unclear why Singapore would actually want to control Malaysia when they are doing so well and it is also unclear the legal mechanisms to make this possible, but hey, if it is in the blogs, then it must be true. Only the Government should sell land to Singaporeans and let Singaporeans invest here, because they know how to deal with these kiasu people (see Americans above).

There are many more bogeymen in this country. But the ones listed here are the most dangerous. We must therefore render our fullest and unquestioning support for the Government's efforts to exorcise these bogeyman so that we can live as one in a moderate Muslim country.

> The views expressed are entirely the writer's own.