Alternative Action Team president, B. Kalai Vanar, wants Yang di-Pertuan Agong Tuanku Mizan Zainal Abidin to revoke Bersih chairperson S. Ambiga’s citizenship for going ahead with the plan to organise a mass rally on July 9. Kalai said his movement was backed by Pusat Penyelidikan Tamil Malaysia. -- Free Malaysia Today
NO HOLDS BARRED
Raja Petra Kamarudin
Datuk: Tan Sri, I think I may have found the solution on how to handle BERSIH.
Tan Sri: Finally….a solution. Shoot!
Datuk: We can withdraw Ambiga’s citizenship.
Tan Sri: Now hold on! Won’t that make the Indians angry? We already have problems with HINDRAF. I don’t want a new movement called AMBIGARAF to be launched by the Indians.
Datuk: AMBIGARAF?
Tan Sri: Yes, Ambiga Rights Action Force.
Datuk: Oh, that won’t happen, Tan Sri. It is the Tamils themselves who are asking His Majesty the Agong to withdraw Ambiga’s citizenship.
Tan Sri: Oh good, if the Tamils themselves are asking for it then no problem.
Datuk: Yes, then later when we withdraw the citizenship of other Indians the Tamils cannot complain since they started this whole ‘withdraw the citizenship of Indians’ thingy.
Tan Sri: Hmm…yes…I like that. Once we open the Pandora’s box the Indians can’t complain any longer.
Datuk: Pandora? Is he also a Tamil?
Tan Sri: Oh never mind…sigh…how I wish we did not change our medium of education from English to Malay. When can we withdraw her citizenship?
Datuk: As soon as we sort out one tiny problem.
Tan Sri: What tiny problem?
Datuk: If we withdraw her citizenship and she is no longer a Malaysian citizen, she can no longer remain in Malaysia. All non-citizens will have to be deported.
Tan Sri: So? That’s the whole idea isn’t it? To kick her out of Malaysia.
Datuk: Yes, but where do we deport her to?
Tan Sri: To India of course.
Datuk: But she is not an Indian citizen.
Tan Sri: So what? That would become India’s problem, not ours.
Datuk: But how do we send her back to India?
Tan Sri: On a plane of course, like how all Indians go to India.
Datuk: But she won’t have a Malaysian passport since we would have to cancel her passport once we withdraw her citizenship.
Tan Sri: Naturally. But why would that be a problem?
Datuk: No airline would allow her to board a plane without a passport.
Tan Sri: Then how would we send her back to India?
Datuk: Exactly. That is what I meant.
Tan Sri: So we can’t let her remain in Malaysia because she is no longer a Malaysian citizen but we can’t deport her since she no longer has a passport.
Datuk: Right. That's the tiny problem I was talking about.
Tan Sri: Sheesh….Catch 22.
Datuk: You want me to catch who?
Tan Sri: Sigh….Malay medium education…never mind.
Datuk: So what do you suggest we do, Tan Sri?
Tan Sri: Me? You were the one who suggested we withdraw her citizenship.
Datuk: The suggestion came from the Tamils, Tan Sri.
Tan Sri: Aiyah…these Tamils are talking…..
Datuk: Tamil?
Tan Sri: I was going to say 'talking cock'. So that means it is not possible to withdraw anyone’s citizenship then?
Datuk: Not unless we can figure out what to do with them once we withdraw their citizenship.
Tan Sri: Aiyah…this will not work. Go figure out another solution.
Datuk: Okay, Tan Sri. And what should I tell these Tamil people?
Tan Sri: Tell them to stop talking….
Datuk: Cock?
Tan Sri: No, Tamil.
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