The Germans want him in the frying pan, the Spaniards love him and the rest of the world venerate him. But should the psychic Octopus find his way to the Straits of Malacca, he risks being detained under the Internal Security Act.
Paul, who resides in a fish tank in Germany, became a household name after the cephalopod oracle predicted eight successive World Cup match winners correctly.
Bolstered by his success in the sporting industry, the octopus decided to stick his tentacles into politics as well, predicting the outcome of the next general election in Malaysia.
Much to the chagrin of Prime Minister Najib Tun Razak and other Barisan Nasional leaders, Paul chose the box with the logos of PAS, PKR and DAP instead of BN's “dacing” (scales).
Putrajaya sources claimed that the special branch has been instructed to be on the lookout for Paul, with Najib purportedly telling Inspector-General of Police Musa Hassan, “I want that sotong for lunch.”
On the other hand, Opposition Leader Anwar Ibrahim is said to be contemplating on inviting Paul to attend his ceramah when the next general election comes around.
Jokes aside (pardon the irony), Malaysians are having a laugh over an e-mail which is now being widely circulated.
The e-mail depicts a doctored image of a calm and composed-looking Paul confidently wrapping his tentacles around the clear plastic box bearing the logos of the Pakatan Rakyat parties.
The image first started circulating in Facebook.
Paul's credibility at stake
Soon after the doctored image started making the rounds, Paul's credibility fell under the spotlight and he is now accused of having a dodgy history.
However, sources cannot confirm if Information, Communication and Culture Minister Rais Yatim and the Umno-owned Utusan Malaysia are involved in this conspiracy.
Officially, Paul is listed as having been born in Weymouth (England) three years ago, after which he moved to a tank at the Sea Life centre in Oberhausen, Germany.
However, The Daily Mirror, had quoted Paul's trainer Verena Bartsch as claiming that she caught him off the Italian island of Elba in April.
“I caught him with my bare hands. He was only a few weeks old,” she had said, casting serious doubts on the oracle's age.
If Paul is indeed only a few months old, he is therefore not the same octopus that predicted the Euro 2008 results.
The shocking revelation led Italian newspaper La Repubblica to make a humorous claim that Paul's real name is actually “Paolo”.
Seizing the opportunity for a political jibe, Italy's opposition MP Andrea Sarubbi quipped: “I have just read the shocking news that the famous predicting octopus Paul is not English but in fact from Italy.”
“I have written to the director of the German Sea Life centre and asked that he be repatriated as soon as possible because never has our country ever needed someone to make clear and decisive judgments such as now.”
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