Bodoh punya India dan Melayu!

Some Chinese feel I have unfairly whacked the Chinese in my article Bodoh punya Cina! Okay, I may be a racist, but I am an equal opportunity racist. I whack all races without exception. I suppose that still makes me a racist but a fair racist at that. To balance off, why not I now whack the Indians and Malays as well? Later, I will get to the ‘lain-lain’.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

Okay, first the Malays.

They are saying that Najib Tun Razak is sure to become the next Prime Minister, Malaysia’s sixth, because of the RAHMAN Theory. Aiyah! Why so bodoh one? The First Prime Minister was Tunku Abdul Rahman. Should he not have been ‘A’? Why take his second name, Rahman, which is ‘R’?

Okay, let’s say we take Tunku Abdul Rahman as ‘R’ instead of ‘A’. The second Prime Minister was Tun Abdul Razak. So that too should be ‘R’. Instead, we take his first name, Abdul, which is ‘A’.

Can you see how we twist things around just to satisfy the theory? For the First Prime Minister we take his second name while for the Second Prime Minister we take his first name. So we get R.A. instead of A.A. or R.R.

We must be consistent. If Abdul Rahman is Rahman, and therefore ‘R’, then Abdul Razak should also be Razak, which is, again, ‘R’.

That kills off the so-called RAHMAN Theory. Bodoh punya Melayu!

Anyway, it is not known yet whether Najib can take over as Prime Minister on April Fool Day, or a day or two after that. Over the last two weeks or so, the international media has been featuring the Altantuya Shaariibuu murder and Najib’s name has popped up all over the place.

Liberation, The New York Times, International Herald Tribune, Times Online, The Times of India, The Australian, Kompas, The Nation, NineMSN, etc., have all featured the issue. The Altantuya murder and the possible link to Najib, or at least to his office or someone in his office, has been analysed at length. No longer can the Prime Minister, Abdullah Ahmad Badawi, ignore the issue.

Abdullah Badawi has been advised to set up a Royal Commission of Inquiry so that Najib’s name can be cleared. Now hold on a minute! Set up a Royal Commission to clear Najib? In the Lingam tape issue, they set up the Commission to investigate whether any crime has been committed. Of course, the Commission eventually ruled that none had been committed and it cleared Lingam of any wrongdoing. But at least the intention of setting up the Commission was to investigate whether a crime had been committed and not to clear Lingam, although that is what eventually happened in the end, sort of.

Okay, let’s say this is true and that they will set up a Royal Commission with the intention to clear Najib so that he can take over the job of Prime Minister with a clean bill of health. This would mean Najib would not able to become Prime Minister on or around April Fool Day. The Commission would need at least until the end of the year to finish its business and come out with its report. That means Abdullah Badawi would have to stay on awhile longer until the Commission clears Najib, whereby he can then take over without the issue hanging around his neck like an albatross.

It would be good, if the Royal Commission is really going to be set up, that someone like an ex-judge or one of the ex-Bar Council Presidents heads it. And the man or woman chosen must be a ‘tough nut’ who takes no shit from anyone. I can think of a few names that would fit that bill.

Okay, let’s say the Commission rushes through the whole thing and within a few months comes out with its report. But what will happen if the Commission’s report says that there is no evidence that Najib or his office or someone in his office is involved in the murder, however, the Commission has also not found enough evidence to confirm that Najib or his office or someone in his office is NOT involved in the murder? In short, the Commission comes out with an open verdict. There is just not enough evidence either way to say whether Najib is clean or not.

If that happens would Abdullah Badawi still be able to hand over the job of Prime Minister to Najib? Yes, a most interesting question would you not agree?

Okay, now over to the Indians. There are three by-elections coming soon -- one each in Perak, Kedah and Sarawak.

While there appears to be no problems thus far in Perak and Sarawak, it looks like Kedah is going to face problems even before Nomination Day. And the problem is as follows. The Indians are not happy with Pakatan Rakyat’s choice of candidate and they will probably boycott or sabotage the by-election if they don’t get their way.

Okay, I have no problems with that. After all, most of the Indians, the majority of them, are all ex-MIC supporters anyway. This means they have kepala otak MIC. They think like MIC and throw tantrums like MIC and demand this and that like MIC. That is to be expected.

But what is unsettling is the way the Indians constantly talk about Indian this and Indian that. Every time these ex-MIC Indians open their mouths it must be about Indian rights, Indian interests, hak India, kepentingan India, and whatnot. These Indians are just like the Umno chaps, minus the little rusted curved knives. These ex-MIC Indians and the Umno chaps are like pinang dibelah dua, or, as the English would say, like two peas in a pod.

I know that people from Italy are called Italians, people from Germany are called Germans, people from Russia are called Russians, people from China are called Chinese, people from India are called Indians, and so on and so forth. Therefore, it goes without saying that people from Malaysia are called Malaysians. But those Malaysians whose forefathers came to Malaysia from India in the 1850s to around 1920 or so still want to be known as Indians even though they and their parents were all born in Malaysia.

Read my lips, very slowly. Those born in Malaysia are Malaysians while those born in India are Indians. You can’t be born in Malaysia and yet still be Indians. Get it? Or must I repeat that?

Enough of all this Indian this and Indian that! Who the shit cares about Indian rights and Indian interests? We are fighting for Malaysian rights and Malaysian interests. It is Ketuanan Rakyat. Not Ketuanan India just like Ketuanan Melayu a la Umno.

I once had an argument with a Hindraf supporter and he tried to impress upon me that the Indians need to be represented and they need an Indian to represent them. I asked this chap whether he is Indian and he replied that he is. Then go back to India, I told him. Indians live in India. Malaysians live in Malaysia. He then corrected himself and said that he is a Malaysian.

In that case, I replied, why do you want an Indian to represent you? Can’t I, a Malay, be your representative? Why must it be an Indian? I too can represent the Indians and serve the Indians.

This Hindraf chap then asked me how I would feel if an Indian represented me. Considering I am Malay, can I accept an Indian Prime Minister? Of course I can, I replied. In fact, I accepted an Indian Prime Minister for 22 years. The only thing is I never saw him as an Indian or even addressed him as an Indian. I just addressed him as Datuk Seri (now Tun) Dr Mahathir Mohamad.

I am not the problem, I told this chap. You are. You look at things from an Indian perspective. I look at it from a Malaysian perspective. Anwar Ibrahim is half-Indian. Wan Azizah, according to Umno, is half-Chinese. I am half-Malay. Many of my very close friends and relatives are half this or half that. But we never, I repeat never, address each other or look at each other through coloured lenses. We are absolutely and thoroughly colour-blind.

I would like to pack all those who shout and scream that they are Indians into a tongkang and send them back to India where they belong. Bodoh punya India!