(BOOK REVIEW: When Bad Things Happen To Good People by Harold Kushner) If you are among the 98% of the 6.7 billion people on earth who have experienced hardships and loss of dear ones, you may have asked the question: why me?
Twenty-nine years ago, Harold Kushner, a rabbi, sought to alleviate his own intense pain after seeing his son Aaron die prematurely by writing When Bad Things Happen To Good People.
In this deeply personal account about that life-altering experience, Kushner touched the lives of countless people who had undergone intense suffering of their own.
In the first place, it is not realistic to think that nothing bad ever happens to yourself. It can and probably will occur at some stage of your life.
It is also not rational to believe that God is responsible for your suffering. Kushner had boldly treaded the path that others have sought to avoid.
He says that “bad things” happen to everybody. There’s no particular order. And there’s really no need to look for a reason behind every tragedy because there is none that the human mind can fathom.
Good people are not exempted from suffering. That’s another point to remember. So don’t get angry with God, says Kushner. There is such a thing as the universal natural order.
The writer eloquently answers the questions that he probably had asked silently in his heart on countless occasions. “Pain is the price we pay for being alive,” says the author.
The doors that open as a result of personal suffering usually make us better people when we begin to cast away the blame and look for ways to grow in spite of it.
The book also touches on the aspect of us being human. This inadvertently leads to the issue of freedom of choice. That means if we are free to choose, some of our choices will lead to pain.
Man's moral choice
Kushner talks about the millions of Jews who were killed in Auschwitz. He points out it was man’s evil act that caused others to suffer and die. So don’t look towards heaven for a response.
He alludes to man’s moral choice. The freedom of choice has its roots in the Garden of Eden which began with Adam and Eve. The deal, if we can describe it as such, is that God’s great gift to man was the liberty to act as he s
o wishes.
The consequences of his act, rightly or wrongly, can lead to either joy or grief. This is the lesson that we the living must learn, and that is also why bad things do happen to good people.
When suffering comes to those who are grieving, we also need to understand that we are not being punished for forgotten evil deeds.
Those of us who comfort relatives and friends in their hour of sorrow must help them to erase those traces of guilt that may linger in their hearts.
Thus, in pain and misery comes understanding and compassion.
Kushner, who was born in Brooklyn and educated in Columbia University, received six honorary doctorates in his lifetime.
In reading the book, you will come to understand more intimately the meaning of prayer and the right things to ask for in prayers.
Prayers are not really about miracles but more about the miracle of finding the courage to embrace suffering that seems inevitable.
It is about asking God for the strength to withstand the burden that has been placed on our shoulders.
Bigger agenda
People who suffer in silence or sometimes continue to feel pain in long stretches of their wretched lives may ask, “what’s the use of religion?”
On that aspect, Kushner says that out of the pit of human suffering comes kindness and love from others. Very often, we are so moved by the misery of strangers that we feel compelled to extend a helping hand.
It is religion that makes us want to be better human beings. Perhaps that explains in part why bad things do occur with such frequency in this world, so that it triggers a chain reaction of benevolent acts.
God has a bigger agenda. He does not expect us to understand his blueprint but he knows no matter how deep our sorrow, there will always be a light at the end of the long tunnel, if we do not give up hope, and always keep the faith.
Ultimately, the knowledge that keeps the sufferers from straying from the righteous path is that they are not alone. Somehow from somewhere, someone will eventually come to help.
Kushner has expounded some very meaningful answers and he delivers them with great religious fervour. His thoughts are well expressed, easy to comprehend and revealing in their passion.
In the final analysis, this book tells all of us who have suffered, whether intensely or fleetingly, that “God helps us when we suffer beyond the limits of our own strength”.
This book has brought solace to many people who questioned God, relatives, friends and themselves during their darkest hour.
Kushner is a rabbi with a mission and he is constantly by the side of those who are grieving. His other books like Conquering Fear: Living Boldly in an Uncertain World, Overcoming Life’s Disappointments, Who Needs God, and When All You Really Wanted Isn’t Enough: The Search for a Life That Matters are testimony to his splendid dedication to mankind.
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