This letter was not selected for publication, and I must say I’m a little disappointed – worked quite hard at it, and was really a delight to write :P :) In the off chance you enjoy it, do help spread – mebbe it’ll even reach the man’s eyes himself :P
Dear Mr. De Niro,
I have a proposal for you good sir.
But first: how exciting to hear that you may have quietly slipped into Malaysia for a visit under an assumed identity this last weekend!
We are told you made this visit at the behest of our self-proclaimed First Lady, Her Excellency Datin Seri Paduka Rosmah Mansor.
She tells us you met in New York, and quotes you as telling her that “You are very progressive, you are very engaging. I would like to come to your country.”
I confess, I can’t possibly imagine you using such language, and have a hard time believing you would say such things given first, your intelligence, and second, the available facts regarding the person in question and our country’s rather abominable record of civil and political rights.
But let’s leave all that boring, serious stuff aside; I can’t help but be excited that you’ve been here, and your visit has emboldened me to ask – would you like to star in a movie I’m planning?
I know it’s a long shot, but I’ve read about your willingness to engage in social and political issues, and perhaps you have a newfound interest in Southeast Asia that you might care to indulge.
The heart of my story is a meditation on ambition. I want to explore what motivates people (in politics in particular) to chase the things they do, how they evolve once they get them, and the lengths they will go to preserve what they’ve obtained.
At the center of this tale is a husband and wife, rising to political power in a fictional Southeast Asian nation. The story begins as the husband finally ascends to the highest political office in the land. We then trace the ‘adventures’ this couple goes through as a result of this ascension.
Inspiration for these two lead characters are taken from various personae within the region throughout history.
I imagine the husband to be a lacklustre, it not entirely witless, timid man, who has finally managed to occupy the number one seat through a combination of patience, a refusal to stick his neck out, and incessant fuedalistic patronage. With little appetite for blood, his weapon of choice is money (and lots of it) and his primary weakness is the fairer sex.
This however, is hardly reflected in his choice of mate. A second marriage for both, this union is clearly one of political alliance, rather than any form of attraction or affection.
He is the son of a former premier, and she sees him as the perfect raw material to be moulded under her manipulative care. Here, I am thinking of the dynamic between Lady Macbeth and her husband in the early part of the play.
As you may be aware, politicians in my neck of the woods are world famous for kleptocracy of unimaginable scale – we’re up there with the worst of African despots. Why, only recently we read of some USD 55 billion mysteriously disappearing over time in shady defence contracts (the husband’s previous ministry is Defence, of course).
I think this will be an important part of the movie – we must explore these shady deals, the wheeling and dealing in dimly lit hotel lounges; the suitcases of cash; the beautiful women in elegant red dresses.
All this runs rampant because a great culture of secrecy exists in this fictional nation, where information is controlled meticulously and jealously – not at all unlike the Britain protrayed in “Brazil” (although far less bureaucratic; we don’t want to be sued by the Singapore government), where all call out for a Harry Tuttle.
So, our husband and wife have done deal after deal, skimmed more than a little of uncountable tops, and have finally arrived at their goal.
Slowly, both husband and wife start to cut loose. The latter starts daydreaming the recognition that comes from rubbing shoulders with the most glamorous glitterati of the world. We’re not talking about faded movie stars or socialites, we’re talking Al Pacino, Oprah, Kanye West and the like.
Perhaps the couple will have a wayward son, who goes on champagne buying sprees around the globe with controversial Hollywood starlets.
Meanwhile, our husband starts cavourting with wilder and wilder women – one encounter ending in pregnancy and a rather belligerent young mistress going around threatening to expose everything.
The wife of course is not having any of this – there’s no way she would allow some young tart to destroy all that they’ve worked for.
In a manner that I must stress is not at all in any way, shape or form inspired by true events, the wife then proceeds to arrange for the mistress to be killed, and her body detonated in some far off jungle (death is not enough after all, all traces of the pregnancy must be destroyed).
The fallout is serious, but the couple’s tight grip on the media eventually allows them to get their personal bodyguards charged and convicted for the crime (even though those poor fellows had no discernible motive whatsoever), while the only potential witness to the murder is hauled in for questioning by the authorities only to be found having mysteriously fallen to his death from the fourteenth floor of the building in which he was being interrogated.
(No one is charged – the death is passed off as suicide, notwithstanding the fact that the poor fellow was due to get married the following week.)
Anyhow, enough about poor fellows.
So husband and wife are now facing pesky writers on the internet who keep stirring shit and calling attention to issues like these deaths, shady acuqisitions of jet fighters that don’t fly, and missing submarine engines, along with a huge scam involving some free zone port.
To battle all this bad press, the couple decides to call in the big guns to repair their image. Having been in politics so long by now, their belief is that all they need to control and change is public perception, rather than anything genuine.
They go for the best money can buy, which in this case is a Washington-based lobbying and public relations firm called OCPA, globally renowned for doing the dirty work of image revamps for dictators, despots and tyrants the world over.
I was wondering if you might be interested in playing a wheeler-dealer from OCPA? After all, the rise to prominence, influence and power of such firms in America is something I imagine you’re familiar with, and I think it would be interesting to explore their growing role in third world politics.
I think the perfect reference point for such a character, if you don’t mind reprising a role somewhat, is spin doctor Conrad Brean from “Wag the Dog”. In fact, I must credit the idea behind that movie as a major influence.
Back to the story. Our couple pays OCPA a huge ton of money, and before long there’s a new, feel good OneNation campaign that sweeps the country, our husband starts appearing in major Western newspapers, meets Obama, and so on.
Our wife meanwhile, really starts to party it up, with her new OCPA friends being perfectly trained to cater to all her celebrity fantasies. Lavish parties are arranged for, and all the who’s who who may have never heard of our little Southeast Asian nation before are suddenly honoured guests at dinners to fete the awarding of an off-the-shelf award created by an OCPA-like organisation to our thrilled wife.
Perhaps you can even play yourself at such an event? It’d be amazing if we can get Kanye to emcee.
I can’t hide much longer though – I think I must reveal one of my major inspirations for this character. There is obviously, after all, the wife of a Southeast Asian leader who fits the bill quite closely.
A lady famed for extravagance and indulgent, “image-boosting” events; a thirst for celebrity hobnobbing that belies at best insecurity, and at worst, shameless pandering; seen by her subjects the same way Marie Antoinette was seen by the French public; a woman with a promiscuous husband whose mistress she wanted to kill; and of course, most of all, the real power behind the throne.
Yes, I’m talking about Imelda Marcos.
Yes, the lady who wrote the book where squandering millions meant for the poor on fluff is concerned. In fact, I confess that this movie is driven by the same questions posed in an article by Lance Morrow, in Time Magazine, back in 1986, when the Marcos empire finally began to unravel (as these things inevitably do) – an attempt to understand the nature of truly excessive high-brow, debauchery.
Imelda apparently had a very close friendship with George Hamilton. Perhaps you might consider playing the role of such a ‘celebrity sidekick’ as well. Most people wouldn’t associate the great Robert De Niro with that kind of flamboyance, but I think your brilliant performance in “Stardust” has put to rest any doubts as to your versatility.
We can’t reference her directly of course, but perhaps we can give her a similar sounding name. Rosmelda perhaps? As for Ferdinand, somehow the name Ferdinajib comes to mind, but that probably just sounds too ridiculous.
In any case, if you know of anyone, even if mere recent acquaintances, who might be right for the part, I’m more than happy to take recommendations. In keeping with a sense of realism and for practical purposes, I think we can forego any requirement that the actress look like a former beauty queen.
How does the movie end? I’m toying with the idea of a people power revolution that toppled the real Imelda Marcos, but ironically, I’m not entirely sure how true to life that would be. Not yet, anyway.
Dear Mr. De Niro,
I have a proposal for you good sir.
But first: how exciting to hear that you may have quietly slipped into Malaysia for a visit under an assumed identity this last weekend!
We are told you made this visit at the behest of our self-proclaimed First Lady, Her Excellency Datin Seri Paduka Rosmah Mansor.
She tells us you met in New York, and quotes you as telling her that “You are very progressive, you are very engaging. I would like to come to your country.”
I confess, I can’t possibly imagine you using such language, and have a hard time believing you would say such things given first, your intelligence, and second, the available facts regarding the person in question and our country’s rather abominable record of civil and political rights.
But let’s leave all that boring, serious stuff aside; I can’t help but be excited that you’ve been here, and your visit has emboldened me to ask – would you like to star in a movie I’m planning?
I know it’s a long shot, but I’ve read about your willingness to engage in social and political issues, and perhaps you have a newfound interest in Southeast Asia that you might care to indulge.
The heart of my story is a meditation on ambition. I want to explore what motivates people (in politics in particular) to chase the things they do, how they evolve once they get them, and the lengths they will go to preserve what they’ve obtained.
At the center of this tale is a husband and wife, rising to political power in a fictional Southeast Asian nation. The story begins as the husband finally ascends to the highest political office in the land. We then trace the ‘adventures’ this couple goes through as a result of this ascension.
Inspiration for these two lead characters are taken from various personae within the region throughout history.
I imagine the husband to be a lacklustre, it not entirely witless, timid man, who has finally managed to occupy the number one seat through a combination of patience, a refusal to stick his neck out, and incessant fuedalistic patronage. With little appetite for blood, his weapon of choice is money (and lots of it) and his primary weakness is the fairer sex.
This however, is hardly reflected in his choice of mate. A second marriage for both, this union is clearly one of political alliance, rather than any form of attraction or affection.
He is the son of a former premier, and she sees him as the perfect raw material to be moulded under her manipulative care. Here, I am thinking of the dynamic between Lady Macbeth and her husband in the early part of the play.
I think this will be an important part of the movie – we must explore these shady deals, the wheeling and dealing in dimly lit hotel lounges; the suitcases of cash; the beautiful women in elegant red dresses.
Slowly, both husband and wife start to cut loose. The latter starts daydreaming the recognition that comes from rubbing shoulders with the most glamorous glitterati of the world. We’re not talking about faded movie stars or socialites, we’re talking Al Pacino, Oprah, Kanye West and the like.
Perhaps the couple will have a wayward son, who goes on champagne buying sprees around the globe with controversial Hollywood starlets.
Meanwhile, our husband starts cavourting with wilder and wilder women – one encounter ending in pregnancy and a rather belligerent young mistress going around threatening to expose everything.
The wife of course is not having any of this – there’s no way she would allow some young tart to destroy all that they’ve worked for.
In a manner that I must stress is not at all in any way, shape or form inspired by true events, the wife then proceeds to arrange for the mistress to be killed, and her body detonated in some far off jungle (death is not enough after all, all traces of the pregnancy must be destroyed).
The fallout is serious, but the couple’s tight grip on the media eventually allows them to get their personal bodyguards charged and convicted for the crime (even though those poor fellows had no discernible motive whatsoever), while the only potential witness to the murder is hauled in for questioning by the authorities only to be found having mysteriously fallen to his death from the fourteenth floor of the building in which he was being interrogated.
(No one is charged – the death is passed off as suicide, notwithstanding the fact that the poor fellow was due to get married the following week.)
Anyhow, enough about poor fellows.
So husband and wife are now facing pesky writers on the internet who keep stirring shit and calling attention to issues like these deaths, shady acuqisitions of jet fighters that don’t fly, and missing submarine engines, along with a huge scam involving some free zone port.
To battle all this bad press, the couple decides to call in the big guns to repair their image. Having been in politics so long by now, their belief is that all they need to control and change is public perception, rather than anything genuine.
They go for the best money can buy, which in this case is a Washington-based lobbying and public relations firm called OCPA, globally renowned for doing the dirty work of image revamps for dictators, despots and tyrants the world over.
I was wondering if you might be interested in playing a wheeler-dealer from OCPA? After all, the rise to prominence, influence and power of such firms in America is something I imagine you’re familiar with, and I think it would be interesting to explore their growing role in third world politics.
I think the perfect reference point for such a character, if you don’t mind reprising a role somewhat, is spin doctor Conrad Brean from “Wag the Dog”. In fact, I must credit the idea behind that movie as a major influence.
Our wife meanwhile, really starts to party it up, with her new OCPA friends being perfectly trained to cater to all her celebrity fantasies. Lavish parties are arranged for, and all the who’s who who may have never heard of our little Southeast Asian nation before are suddenly honoured guests at dinners to fete the awarding of an off-the-shelf award created by an OCPA-like organisation to our thrilled wife.
Perhaps you can even play yourself at such an event? It’d be amazing if we can get Kanye to emcee.
I can’t hide much longer though – I think I must reveal one of my major inspirations for this character. There is obviously, after all, the wife of a Southeast Asian leader who fits the bill quite closely.
A lady famed for extravagance and indulgent, “image-boosting” events; a thirst for celebrity hobnobbing that belies at best insecurity, and at worst, shameless pandering; seen by her subjects the same way Marie Antoinette was seen by the French public; a woman with a promiscuous husband whose mistress she wanted to kill; and of course, most of all, the real power behind the throne.
Yes, I’m talking about Imelda Marcos.
Imelda apparently had a very close friendship with George Hamilton. Perhaps you might consider playing the role of such a ‘celebrity sidekick’ as well. Most people wouldn’t associate the great Robert De Niro with that kind of flamboyance, but I think your brilliant performance in “Stardust” has put to rest any doubts as to your versatility.
In any case, if you know of anyone, even if mere recent acquaintances, who might be right for the part, I’m more than happy to take recommendations. In keeping with a sense of realism and for practical purposes, I think we can forego any requirement that the actress look like a former beauty queen.
How does the movie end? I’m toying with the idea of a people power revolution that toppled the real Imelda Marcos, but ironically, I’m not entirely sure how true to life that would be. Not yet, anyway.
Perhaps something more poignant? I confess, “The Mission” is one of my favourite movies – one perhaps that contains subtle hope amidst persistent hopelessness. Perhaps an ending along those lines might hit home a little better; although, I’m not sure whether our characters will go through the same journey of redemption yours did.
In any case, once again Mr. De Niro, a belated welcome to our shores. I’ll look forward to your favourable reply!
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