So be it

My son needs counselling. He needs the attention of a psychiatrist. The Sungai Buloh Hospital, however, does not agree. Maybe they are under pressure to discharge him from hospital so that he can be sent back to prison.

NO HOLDS BARRED

Raja Petra Kamarudin

There are some who have contacted me to tell me that I should not be using four-letter words in my articles. They don’t mean four-letters words like U-M-N-O. They are talking about that other four-letter word that starts with F and ends with K. yes, that’s right, F-O-R-K, fork.

The reason given is that young people read Malaysia Today and we should therefore steer clear of corrupting the minds of young people. Actually, today, young people of 12 or 13 know more about life compared to when we were kids of that age. I was probably 18 before I had the experience of what kids of 12 or 13 are experiencing today. Even my grandchildren of age seven amaze me. They appear more matured and aware of things at that age compared to our days in the 1950s and 1960s.

I suppose that is still no excuse for using four-letter words and, today, I shall refrain from doing so in this article. But let’s face it: sometimes there is no other more perfect way of describing a situation then using that ‘special’ word. Seriously, are you scared of corrupting young minds with the four-letter words I use when they can get more corrupted by reading the graphic details in the news carried by the mainstream media regarding Anwar Ibrahim’s Sodomy 2 trial?

Reading what they report about Anwar Ibrahim’s trial is like reading a script from a pornographic movie. My one four-letter word can’t corrupt young minds any more than what the mainstream media is doing. What harm can my four-letter word do that the mainstream media is not already doing?

Anyway, the last week or so I have been under a lot of stress with regards to my son’s case so I have had to lepas geram (vent my anger), so to speak. The stress is not so much related to what they are doing to my son. That is to be expected and not at all a surprise. The stress is because of the ‘harassment’ I suffer from my friends and family about what to do about my son.

My family are divided on the issue. I am adamant that my son should stay in the Sungai Buloh Prison, not to ‘serve his sentence’ as what the government-controlled mainstream media is reporting, but under remand while awaiting trial. He has not been convicted yet and is NOT serving any sentence, as what the government-controlled mainstream media is portraying.

My wife, however, wants our son out of jail, as do our other children who feel that to allow him to remain in prison just means the powers-that-be can continue torturing him both physically and mentally. But to get him out would mean we need to post bail and I just do not have the RM10,500 needed for his bail.

A few friends have offered to help pay for the bail but I have declined the offer, although I am most grateful for the gesture. If my son had been arrested and charged for participating in an anti-Umno demonstration or for holding a candle during an anti-ISA candlelight vigil that would be another matter altogether. That can be considered a noble cause and drawing on the financial support of my friends for bail would be morally right. But my son has been charged for petty crimes, which has nothing to do with ‘the cause’. It would be morally wrong to expect my friends to extend financial support for what can be considered a ‘personal problem’.

Then we have to worry about what to do after we post bail. First we have to ensure that he attends trial and not disappear. What happens if they can’t find him on the day of the trial and he is nowhere to be found? Wouldn’t the government-controlled mainstream media just love this?

“Like father, like son,” would scream the headlines. First the father skips bail, now the son does the same. How do I handle that fallout? We would be playing right into their hands.

I have no control over my son. He is, after all, a man, and no longer a kid. And we have been ‘separated’ for more than 20 years since he was a school-going teenager. I cannot direct him on what to do. Furthermore, I am not anywhere near where he is. How do I communicate with him?

And the third issue, which is of more concern to me, is that we can’t bail my son out and then dump him back onto the streets. That would not solve anything. That would in fact compound the problem. The reason he is in trouble in the first place is because he lives on the streets where he is exposed to all sorts of things, drugs and petty crimes included.

We need to get him off the streets and prison is the best way of getting him off the streets. If the powers-that-be would just keep their hands off him then prison would be the ideal place for my son. But the problem is in prison he is at the mercy of those who want to punish him to get back at me.

So, bailing him out would not solve all the problems. It would only solve one problem -- getting him out of the hands of those who wish to harm him. But we would solve one problem and open up another problem. What happens once he is back on the streets? Would it just result in more petty crimes and more drug problems?

Yes, my son is a drug addict. As much as it pains a father to have to admit this, this is the truth. My son’s predicament is a predicament facing many Malay families. But the fact that I am not alone and thousands of other Malay families also face this same problem does not ease the pain one bit.

This is a huge social problem facing the Malays. And it is not a new problem. This has been a problem since way back in the 1960s and 1970s. Malays take to drugs easily. In the 1960s and 1970s it was ganja, marijuana, hashish, weeds or whatever. Today, it is harder stuff. But it has been a problem that is two generations old and the government has not been able to do anything about the problem. It has in fact become more serious since 40 or 50 years ago.

Do you know that many drug addicts surrender and volunteer to be admitted into government-run drug rehabilitation centres when the streets ‘run dry’? This is because drugs are easily obtained in these centres. The institution set up to rehabilitate drug addicts is where drugs are freely available.

So, getting my son out on bail is not the main problem. Even if I relent and accept the many offers of financial help from my friends that still does not solve the bigger problem. What do I do after that? How do I keep my son off the streets? Would I just be sending him out of the frying pan and into the fire?

Over the last one week this is what has been bugging me. My friends mean well of course. They pressure me into accepting their offer of help so that my son can be bailed out. They just want him safely out of the hands of the authorities so that they can’t continue to mistreat him. But they are not looking beyond that. They are not taking into consideration that we may be solving a ‘small’ problem but opening ourselves to a bigger problem.

My son needs counselling. He needs the attention of a psychiatrist. The Sungai Buloh Hospital, however, does not agree. Maybe they are under pressure to discharge him from hospital so that he can be sent back to prison.

My lawyers are trying to meet the hospital authorities next week to discuss this matter with them. They want the hospital to not send my son back to prison but to instead put him under psychiatric treatment. My son is very disturbed and under severe psychological trauma. In short, he is going bonkers and is no longer stable.

The police, however, are investigating his ‘attempted suicide’, which is a crime. This means they can charge him and, if found guilty (which would be easy to do), he can be sent to jail. He is already in jail, although merely under remand while awaiting trial. Now he can be kept in jail to serve a sentence for the crime of attempted suicide as well.

So the issue of bail may be academic after all. If my son is convicted of attempted suicide the issue of bail no longer applies.

Anyway, my wife and I disagree on how to handle this matter. I am adamant on doing nothing. My wife has the opposite view. And this morning we had a heated argument about it. So I told my wife that she can do whatever she likes but to not include me in whatever plans she has. I want nothing to do with the matter and will not get involved. She is on her own on this.

Okay, Valentine’s Day is just around the corner and it looks like my wife and I are going to have ‘separate programs’ this Sunday because of our ‘cold war’ on what to do about our son. My wife is a very determined person. But then, so am I. So we will ‘go our separate ways’ on this issue. So be it.

I have agreed to allow her to use Malaysia Today to send out any messages on the latest developments that need sending out. But this will be ‘her show’. I wash my hands of the matter and will not lend my name to whatever plans she may have.

And that is my final word on the matter of my son. And if that means it will be a long time before my wife and I speak to each other again then so be it. I do not relent that easily, and neither does she.